Today, my four year old son, Miles, started pre K.
I knew this day was coming, but I did not expect it to affect me this much. Before becoming a parent, I never understood why the first day of school was such a big deal. I would see children crying, parents crying, and families standing outside the school watching their kids walk inside.
I used to wonder why everyone was so emotional.
Now I understand.
There is something strange about raising a child. One day, you are holding a little baby who depends on you for everything. Then, somehow, that baby starts walking, talking, eating, running, and developing a personality of his own.
Then suddenly, he is four years old and walking into school.
It feels like a major accomplishment. Through the sleepless nights, stressful days, sickness, tantrums, laughter, and everything else that comes with parenting, we made it to another milestone.
We made it to the first day of school.
The night before, I could not sleep very well. My mind kept moving from one thought to another. I wondered whether Miles was ready. I wondered whether I was ready.
Of course, I want my son to be successful. Every parent wants that for their child. But even more than success, I want him to be prepared for life.
When I look at Miles, I see how pure and simple his world still is. He smiles, laughs, plays, and looks at life without carrying all the worries that adults carry. Watching him reminds me to slow down and enjoy the small things.
At the same time, I know the world can be hard.
That may be the scariest part of parenting. We tell our children there are no monsters under the bed, but the truth is, there are real monsters in the world. As parents, we want to protect our children from every dangerous person, bad situation, disappointment, and painful experience.
But we cannot always be standing beside them.
This morning, I woke Miles up, helped him get dressed, and took him to school. Every step felt more emotional than I expected. When it was time to leave him, part of me wanted to stay.
In my mind, I thought, “I just want to see you again.”
That may sound dramatic to some people, but parents understand. Dropping your child off with people you do not know can bring real fear and anxiety. You hope the teachers will care for your child. You hope the school will keep him safe. Most of all, you hope he comes home smiling.
Miles was not the only child having a hard time. Other children cried. Some parents cried while watching their children go inside.
That made me realize something important: parents have every right to be emotional.
Our children are attached to us because we are their safe place. That is a blessing. But as they grow, we also have to give them room to explore, learn, make friends, and solve small problems on their own.
Letting go does not mean we stop protecting them. It means we trust that the love, lessons, and guidance we have given them will travel with them.
Today was Miles’ first day of school.
It was exciting. It was emotional. It was scary.
Now, I wait for him to come home and tell me about his day. I know he will be okay, but I also know I will always worry. That is part of being a parent.
Today, Miles took a big step forward.
And somehow, so did I.
