As a firefighter, I’ve seen it all. You go from call to call, responding to emergencies, doing what needs to be done. Over time, though, the emotional toll of the job can start to fade. It’s like you become numb to the things that once would have shaken you. A few shifts ago, I had a moment where I realized I wasn’t reacting the way I should have been. The concern on people’s faces stood out, but I felt nothing. It hit me then…. I had become desensitized.
Desensitization in the fire service is common. We’re exposed to trauma constantly. Whether it’s dealing with fires, car accidents, or medical emergencies, you see so much that your mind starts to shield itself. It’s a defense mechanism, really. But when you reach the point where you’re not feeling anything at all, that’s when it becomes a problem.
I’ve noticed this shift in myself over the years. Early on, certain calls would get to me. I’d think about them for days. Now, I handle things without any emotion. I just go through the motions, getting the job done. And while it helps me stay focused, it also feels wrong. As humans, we should feel something.
Dealing with emotional burnout in the fire service is tough. It’s not something you can just “fix.” There’s no easy way to suddenly reverse the numbness that’s crept in. But recognizing that it’s happening is the first step. I know now when my mood shifts or when I’m becoming too detached. When I catch myself in those moments, I try to refocus and remember that what I’m seeing is real and its ok to have emotions.
The truth is, being a firefighter isn’t just about putting out fires. It’s about dealing with people at their worst moments. The emotions tied to those experiences are heavy, and it’s natural to want to block them out. But we need to stay aware of how those emotions, or lack of them..affect us. It’s a hard balance to strike, but it’s one worth striving for not just for yourself but for your close friends and family..for their sake.
So, to our friends and family…if we ever seem distant, speak abruptly, or appear as though we don’t care, please bear with us. Don’t give up on us. We truly do care, and we want to connect. As first responders, we’ve witnessed countless difficult moments and heard many heartbreaking stories. Sometimes, it just takes us a little longer to process and have that ‘moment’ of realization, like I did. Desensitization is real, but with your understanding and patience, we can work through it together.
