So, let’s set the scene. I’ve been a firefighter for around 12 years now, long enough to have seen just about everything you can imagine. And trust me, people always ask the same things… “Is it the tough calls that get to you? The accidents? The memories?” Well, sure all those things are part of the job and tough at times. But if I had to pick one thing I truly despise after all these years, it’s not what you’d expect……. It’s shaving my face!! Yep, shaving my face. That’s my arch nemesis. If I had a magic wand, I’d wave goodbye to facial hair until I retire.
Now, a wise old guy once told me “Pick your battles.” And for the longest time, this was one battle I just kind of grumbled about and then moved on. Because, I mean, who wants to go to war over a razor, right? But after a decade plus of scraping my face every other day, I’ve tried everything under the sun. And I do mean everything. I started back in JROTC in high school, and since then, it’s been a saga of trials. I’ve used razors, clippers, that infamous magic shave cream that smells like it could peel paint off walls (and still makes you break out anyway). You name it, I’ve probably smeared it on my face.
Now, before anyone starts thinking I’m just being dramatic, let me be clear….there’s actually a legit reason we have to shave. It’s against our department’s policies to have facial hair, especially beards, because it supposedly breaks the seal of our SCBA mask. And in a fire, that’s a no go. If smoke or toxic gases leak in because your mask isn’t sealed right it could be deadly. I get the safety side. However, after some research over the years many people are saying this isn’t the case. I just wish there was some kind of high tech workaround that let us rock a beard and still stay protected. If NASA can send people to space, surely someone can invent a beard friendly firefighter mask, right?
And let me tell you, even after all these years, I still break out like a teenager. It’s like my face just stages its own little rebellion every time. I’ll be out in public, and folks look at me like I’ve just lost a wrestling match with a beehive. And dating? Yeah, nothing screams “romantic” like trying to explain that your face isn’t actually like this all the time….
And yeah, there are ways around it. I could get a doctor’s note to skip the whole shaving ordeal, but let’s just say that’s not exactly the most celebrated option. It’s like, Sure, you can do it, but everyone’s gonna raise an eyebrow. So here I am, just wishing for a miracle!
